Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Strings, Cookies, and a Full Year in Uganda

String Theory basically** says that for everything that happens in your life, every rock you trip over, everytime you take a cab instead of driving yourself, each bite of food you take, there are an infinite amount of other ways that moment could have happened. Each "other way" is a different "string" or dimension in which another Tori made a different decision and her life continued in a different direction than mine, everytime this other Tori makes a decision, another string or dimension is entered into and so forth. That's a ton of strings.
Who cares?
There is also a theory that I read in a fortune cookie a few years ago that told me- You are always exactly where you are supposed to be. I subscribe to my fortune cookie's wisdom. I know that no matter what happens or has happened, or will happen, it's not up to me- God is the piece of paper on which the line of my life has been drawn. He is in every single moment as every single moment is in Him, and He is in the past, present, future, whatever other dimensions of time someone could think of, He is there. One Way. One Truth. One Life. One String.
Wishing something had happened another way is useless. It happened. Not only can we not change it, but it happened for a reason. I know I'm not aimlessly, hopelessly floating around Africa. I feel such a beautiful purpose here in my community, and I know that many of my fellow PC volunteers feel the same way about theirs. Christmas in Kabale was incredible, the time I spent with my friends on Lake Bunyonyi was refreshing and relaxing, and although I'm back in Masindi earlier than I had planned, I know that it wasn't ultimately my decision, and I have no regrets.
I'm praying extra hard that my 2009 (my only full year in Uganda) will be challenging, successful, and fun! My resolutions are to be Hardworking, Understanding, and Humble. Yes, I realize that my year will be confusing since my resolutions spell out "Huh"? But what new thing isn't confusing? And what's the use in my trying to figure it all out when I could be spending my time having a full Runyoro conversation with a woman in the market, or showing a globe to my neighbor and having the children in my village point to me where we are on it? I would rather make a true personal connection with a Ugandan child than waste my time worrying about which steps to take when. I would rather love than fear.

We are always exactly where we're supposed to be. May we always strive for that place to be in the Lord's love.

God Bless You all from Masindi, Webale Noeli, and Happy New Year,
Tori

**(like, super basically- string theory talks way more about black holes, subatomic particles, and quantum mechanics than I could ever hope to understand)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

be still and know.

Tomorrow, December 8th, marks two months at site and four months in Uganda. Tomorrow is also The Feast of the Immaculate Conception, celebrating the sinless conception of Mary, the entire reason we can refer to our Mother as "full of grace". Mary has been such a wonderful Mother to me throughout my life, as I've often called to her to remove my burdens from my own shoulders and carry them a while. It's kind of funny, because I usually call to her during boy troubles... I think that she, as the perfect woman, would probably understand exactly what I was going through and have the best advice on how to be a good gracious servant of the Lord in all kinds of situations. It's also making me think about what it means to be a woman in general, but especially in Uganda. The idea of a woman is so interesting in this country. As an American woman, I have always felt very empowered, valued, and advantaged. Women of the Western world, we have been incredibly blessed by our births into societies where woman have fought to receive the equality we deserve. The situation in Uganda confuses me. In The Philippines, I met so many women who were doing amazing things, and they gave me a beautiful image of a woman in a third world country working hard and seeing the fruits of their labor. These women were strong, and they were truly making a difference for the squatters of the Payatas area. The trip there was life changing, and I'll never forget it as a huge turning point in my own life. The women in Uganda are a different story than the ones I met last summer with the Opus Prize due diligence trip.
Women in Uganda work so hard for their families. If they aren't cooking, they're digging or washing clothes, fetching water (sometimes miles away), carrying God knows what on their heads to sell at the market, or caring for their children. These women work! In addition to the regular day to day labour in the garden and around the house, they're active members in their churches, schools, health centers, and regular jobs in town. They love their God, their children, and damn, they love to laugh. Spending some time with them reveals an extremely laid back, let's save tomorrow's troubles for tomorrow, attitude. Despite their dire and difficult situations- sick children or a poor crop yeild, they are joyful and extremely grateful for life itself. Their days are long and their lives are hard enough without an odd placement in the societal ladder. I don't think I'll ever understand all of the complexities of this culture, especially the way women are viewed and treated.
Thank God they have a woman like our Mother Mary to look after them. Thank God we had women like Susan B. Anthony looking out for us. Tomorrow, as I pray in thanksgiving for all of the women in my life, I'll also be praying for my new friends- the women of Uganda. May they always know that they are under Mary's care.
I love you, Mom, Nana, Kelsey, all of my wonderful aunts, cousins, my best friends (from Ecuador to DC/DCish to Jersey to California, back to Uganda), and all the men back home who love them!
Prayers and Blessings from Masindi,
Tori